Monday, February 27, 2012

Best Dressed - 2012 Academy Awards

Trends of the night were thick bangs, big cuff-bracelets, one-shoulder draping, sparkling sequins, nudes and creams, simple jewelry, and dresses with mid-section skirts. Join us in reviewing the best and worst of the 2012 Academy Awards.


Bo Derek (#1 of the night, although this was a tough call because so many ladies looked exquisite. The color, cut, fabric of the dress are flawless and her hair is amazing. She just looks fabulous), Glenn Close (finally, after all these years, she gives Helen Mirren a run for her money. The dress is beautiful and the addition of a chic blazer is genius)

Jennifer Lopez (we adore this dress. It's gorgeous, chic, and makes the already stunning Lopez look stellar), Maya Rudolph (we've never seen her look so beautiful. The color and cut of the gown does her body good and her hair is positively goddess-like), Natalie Portman (the dress and hair are a throw-back to old school Hollywood. We love the subtle polka dots and the protruding bust)


Gwyneth Paltrow (when we saw this jewel, we literally gasped. It's a major homage to old Hollywood glamour and it is... amazeballs. Paltrow would have made #1 of the night... if it weren't for the horrible hair), Penelope Ann Miller (we love the cut of this gown and the color is to-die-for)

Milla Jovovich (we are always suckers for an elegant one-shouldered frock. Bellissima!!!!), Octavia Spencer (the Oscar winner made us cry while she was onstage and smile while she was on the red carpet. She has been a constant favorite this awards season, so it was no surprise that she would end on another high note)

Penelope Cruz (this reminds us of the gorgeous dress that Drew Barrymore wore to the 2009 Golden Globes. It's so beautiful and angelic), Leslie Mann (it's so stunning and elegant, that we can overlook the slightly odd thing tied around her waist), Emma Stone (we, of course, saw the immediate resemblance to the 2008 gown Nicole Kidman wore, but actually Stone does it waaaaayyyyyy better)


Jessica Chastain (best down 'do. Her strawberry blonde locks are ridiculously gorgeous), Sandra Bullock (best ponytail. Three words... chic, chic, chic)

And the bobs have it... Rose Byrne (she finally got it right with this cut. The off-centered part helps to keep the full bangs from overwhelming her pretty face), Anna Faris (it's cute and whimsical and she beat Cameron Diaz's boring coif)


Berenice Bejo (she has been on the bad list all season. The materials, the long ice skater sleeves, the frumpy hair... it's just all bad), Melissa McCarthy (she hasn't gotten to the place that Spencer, Latifah, and Mo'Nique have gotten to... knowing how to dress for your body. Too much fabric and a little matronly)

Viola Davis (this pains us... truly. We adore Viola and were rooting for her to take home Oscar. But, maybe it wasn't so bad that she didn't go down in history looking like this. The dress resembles lettuce and her boobs look ridiculous. We were going to say, 'Viola, you are 46-years-old... cover those puppies a bit'... but the truth is, the boob thing is tacky, even for a young actress. Also, we love, love, love her idea of going natural with her hair, but how is orange natural?), Jane Seymour (it's a 70's nightmare... gone wrong)


Melissa Leo (come on... it's just fugly. She can do so much better), Sandra Bullock (it actually almost works and then... we realize she has tentacles growing out of her midsection), Lea Thompson (as if the sea of tacky silver sparkles weren't enough... she has to throw in a massive shawl)

Melanie Griffith (the wax-figure that slightly resembles that terrific actress from "Working Girl" wore something Jane Lynch would wear... and that isn't a good thing), Meryl Streep (the world's best actor wore a decent dress. The problem? She matched her Best Actress Oscar perfectly. This bronzy gold is not pretty and is overbearing on her)

Jessica Chastain (it almost worked, but in the end, the gold embroidery overwhelmed the dress and beautiful Jessica), Kate Mara (the color washes out her skin and the slinky strap makes it seem as though her boob will be bursting out any minute. Frankly we are uncomfortable just looking at her), Shailene Woodley (what are you... on your way to the convent? It's boring)


Ellie Kemper (why do these actresses insist on making their real hair look like wigs. This is definitely... "when bangs go bad"), Gwyneth Paltrow (this is so upsetting. Her gown and cape were flawless and then she does this crap ponytail. Why not a beautiful low bun? Why do you like to torture us Paltrow? First your singing and now this)

Angelina Jolie (everything is wrong. The color, the messy style. We think Jolie was slightly off her rocker last night... did you see the weird leg thing?), Octavia Spencer (we were on the fence about this because it isn't horrible. But, the edges look messy and we know that she could have done better)


Tina Fey (this is absolutely the loveliest we have ever seen Tina. She almost made it to overall best. We just wish that she would have gone with color, instead of the go-to black that she loves), Michelle Williams (so close... so very close, but the bottom gets messy), Kristen Wiig (simple, elegant, and almost there, but in the end... a tad boring)

Janet McTeer (she's rocking this beautiful look, but it just doesn't measure up to the best dressed ladies), Rose Byrne (we love the cut and we love sequins, but only up to a certain degree. The dress is actually... over-sequined, if there is such a phrase), Ellie Kemper (we heart the cut. The only problem is that the coloring is really teetering on the fence between revolutionary and... well... vomit)


  1. My comments:

    Natalie Portman: Loved the dress, hated the cheesy necklace. I'm sure it's worth millions but it looks a little guidette.

    J.Lo: Amazing silhouette in this dress. She looked phenominal even if she did that corny "looking back" bit when she was presenting. It was so "Look at me and Cami D, we're friends because we're working on a movie together!" Fake bitches.

    Gwyneth: I haven't seen her look so good since the 2007 Oscars when she wore that awesome pink Zac Posen. I loved this dress. You're right about her hair...awful. I think my hair looks like that right now and I just got out of bed.

    Mya: Love the color, hate the cut. It's not flattering.

    Milla: It was flawless! The dress, the hair, the make-up. She looked like a star! Does this chick ever age?!?!

    Emma Stone: Hated the dress as much as I hated her presenting. She was annoying as shit. I'm not a fan of redheads wearing red. Nicole Kidman pulled over this red dress with bow so much better a few years ago.

    Penelope: Love the color but it's a bit 50's prom dress. Didn't love this one.

    Rose Byrne: Liked the bob but because she is way to skinny, it's aging her. She looks like she's in her 40s.

    Melissa Leo, Meryl Streep, Sandra B: Fugs next lev. : )

    Ellie Kemper: The hair was awful. It was a wall of bangs..and the dress was...blah. "Hollywood Rust" Stupid Ryan Seacrest called it. Shut up, Ryan.

    Angie: Even though we all know that I cannot stand her, I thought she looked fantastic. Why did she have to cock her hip out like that though? She looked like an idiot.

    Michelle Williams: Meh.

    Kristin Wiig: Fab. I love her brunette.

    Great post! Thanks providing me an outlet to voice my comments!!

    1. Amazing recap. Seems we agree on most things... "great minds think alike". Love your site (Tales from the Chambre de Bone) :)

    2. JLo and CamD are definitely some unfunny "fake bitches". Hahahahaha. Love it!


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